My personality type: ENFJ

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ENFJ Relationships and Dating
ENFJ personalities take dating and relationships very seriously – their dedication and passion are really admirable. This shows even in early dating phases – people with this type are prepared to put a lot of time and effort into fostering their romantic relationships. First of all, ENFJs pay a lot of attention to their partners’ needs and desires. Second, they do not shy away from commitments or obligations, doing their best to connect with their partners. Finally, ENFJs do everything they can to feel the pulse of the relationship – they will occasionally ask their partner if everything is fine, whether they need anything else etc. If there are any concerns at all, the ENFJ will rush to resolve the potential issue as soon as possible.

Ben Affleck ENFJs take their obligations very seriously and are likely to do everything to create and maintain a solid relationship. Unfortunately, this is also one of the main ENFJ weaknesses – due to their extraordinary emotional investment in dating and romantic relationships in general, ENFJs are likely to feel a huge sense of guilt and betrayal if the relationship (even if they were still dating) fails. However, this is unlikely to crush the ENFJ.

From the standpoint of sexual intimacy, ENFJs tend to be very passionate and dedicated lovers, doing their best to make sure that their partner is feeling happy. That being said, their J trait is likely to introduce a bit of routine and predictability (which may actually be a stabilizing factor) into their sexual life.

ENFJ personalities loathe conflicts and criticism, especially when it comes to dating and romantic relationships. They will do everything to escape tense situations, including sacrificing their own principles – this can easily lead to resentment and difficulties later on, once both partners realize that the problem has not gone anywhere.

ENFJs should also learn to pay more attention to their own needs and express them clearly, especially while they are still dating. People with this personality type do not need much to feel happy – however, it is crucial that the ENFJ receives some praise and visible affection as well. Otherwise, such a situation can easily disrupt the balance in the relationship or be seen as insecurity by their dating partners.

Preferred partners: INFP and INTP types

ENFJ Strengths
Very charismatic. ENFJ personalities are charming and popular – they instinctively know how to attract and keep people’s attention, as well as communicate with them effectively.

Altruistic. ENFJs are warm and selfless, always willing to help other people. They are idealists, motivated by the idea of doing something good for the world.
Skilled imitators. ENFJs find it very easy to notice what drives, motivates and worries other people, and are instinctively able to adjust their own manners and arguments accordingly.
Natural leaders. ENFJ personalities do not seek to dominate or direct, but people are attracted to their charisma and eloquence – unsurprisingly, ENFJs usually end up being very popular and rarely have any difficulties getting to leadership positions.

Tolerant. People with this personality type tend to be open-minded and accepting, willing to consider competing ideas as long as they do not contradict their inner principles. ENFJs can easily get along with most other types.
Reliable. ENFJs work hard for causes they consider important – if their role excites and motivates them, an ENFJ can be very patient and reliable.

ENFJ Weaknesses
Sometimes too selfless. ENFJs may often take on too much work or get deeply involved in other people’s problems, trying too hard to not offend or disappoint anybody.

Very idealistic. People with this personality type can often be too idealistic or even naïve, believing that everyone is good natured and cares about principles that are important to the ENFJ.
Often too sensitive. Deep down, ENFJs are sensitive and emotional individuals who can get hurt and disappointed very easily. They may also worry too much about other people’s feelings and well-being.

Vulnerable to criticism. ENFJ personalities have a strong inner core of principles and values, and they can get very hurt if someone criticizes them. ENFJs may also have difficulties reacting calmly to general criticism and negativity.
May find it difficult to make tough decisions. Due to their altruism and sensitivity, ENFJs are likely to struggle with decisions involving hard choices – they may waver between different options, unable to stop thinking about all the possible consequences.
Highly fluctuating self-esteem. ENFJs’ self-esteem depends on whether they are able to live up to their ideals and fulfill their goals, while at the same time making sure that everyone around them is happy. If the ENFJ’s ideas are being constantly criticized or they are unable to help people close to them, their self-confidence is likely to plummet.

ENFJ Friends
ENFJ friends are known for their warmth and kindness. People with this personality type enjoy connecting with others and getting to know them well – most ENFJs find it easy to communicate even with individuals who do not share any of their traits or ideas. That being said, ENFJ personalities can be quite selective when it comes to picking their closest friends – they value authenticity and sincerity, and do not open up to each and every one of their acquaintances.

Despite belonging to the Feeling (F) group, ENFJ friends are also able to dish out criticism where necessary. This is not something that ENFJs enjoy, but they can be quite decisive and judgmental if the situation demands. Generally, though, ENFJ personalities tend to be very tactful and kind, even to the point of being too sweet. It is difficult not to enjoy being with an ENFJ friend – they may be a bit too inflexible sometimes, but their energy and sincerity are very disarming.

ENFJs are likely to be somewhat idealistic when it comes to making friends – they want to be the best friends imaginable. Such an approach is certainly commendable, but people with the ENFJ personality type need to make sure that their enthusiasm is not stifling the other person. ENFJ friends tend to be very supportive, cheerful and passionate – but not every personality type can cope with this. ENFJs should not take this personally.

ENFJ personalities are both able and willing to work on their friendships, placing them very high on their priority list. ENFJs take pleasure in helping people discover their strengths and passions, and then supporting them along the way. This is not entirely altruistic as the ENFJ will also likely expect their friend to return the favor when an opportunity presents itself – however, ENFJ friends will definitely be highly valued and respected.

ENFJs are most likely to surround themselves with friends who share their NF traits as this gives them an excellent opportunity to discuss ideas that other personality types may deem too idealistic. However, ENFJs tend to be quite open-minded in this respect and will rarely have major difficulties relating to different types, as long as the other person does not criticize their principles.

ENFJ Parents
ENFJ personalities tend to be inspiring, warm and very dedicated parents. They will try very hard to make sure that their children have strong value systems and grow up to be responsible adults. ENFJ parents are also likely to have very high standards, encouraging their children to be the best they can be, while also remembering to listen to their hearts.

ENFJ parents are likely to be very caring and nurturing. They will surround their children with love, warmth and encouragement, always doing their best to create a safe and conflict-free environment for them to grow in. However, this can cause issues once their children reach adolescence – should they wish to rebel against the authority of their parents, as many teenagers do, the ENFJ will likely feel hurt and unloved.

That being said, ENFJs’ intuition, energy and sense of humor will help them a lot in such situations. People with the ENFJ personality type may be inflexible or even manipulative in some cases, but their genuine warmth and care will certainly be remembered and appreciated by their children.

ENFJ Careers
Most typical ENFJ careers have share one key attribute – they focus on making other people happy. ENFJs are usually very warm, sociable and altruistic and they have many viable choices when it comes to choosing the career that is best for them. We will list some of the most common roles below, but please feel free to drop us a message if you have any comments or ideas.

Let us start examining ENFJ career choices by stating the somewhat-obvious fact that ENFJs are sincerely interested in other people and try to do their best to help them. On top of this, people with the ENFJ personality type tend to have extraordinary social and networking skills – it is quite common for an ENFJ to be “that person who knows everybody”. ENFJs truly shine in customer-facing careers or roles where they need to be dealing with other people on a daily basis – they can be brilliant sales representatives, consultants or HR administrators.

Next, ENFJs are usually quite sensitive and even somewhat idealistic. This is a double-edged sword, as the same sensitivity draws ENFJs towards careers that reward high emotional intelligence; on the other hand, ENFJs are very vulnerable to criticism and should stay away from stressful careers. Some of the ENFJ careers to avoid – finance (especially stock trading), police, corporate management, emergency personnel, medicine or military.

People with this personality type are also really creative, organized and honest – this makes them excellent psychologists, event coordinators or politicians (there are some honest politicians in the world!). Also, one of the best ENFJ careers can be found in writing – but ENFJs tend to approach this from a journalistic rather than book-writing perspective as such a career allows them to leverage their people skills.

Finally, ENFJs love new challenges and the thrill they get from helping other people. Consequently, many ENFJs are found in “altruistic” careers, e.g. social or religious work, teaching or counselling. However, it should also be noted that ENFJs need constant approval from other people in order to feel satisfied and happy – if this is not forthcoming, the ENFJ may burn out very quickly and move to another career path or project.

ENFJs in the Workplace
People with the ENFJ personality type are warm, charismatic and very social individuals. They tend to do very well in many diverse roles, regardless of seniority. Furthermore, ENFJs seem to be able to get people to like them wherever they go – this is usually one of the main reasons behind the ENFJs’ success.

ENFJ Colleagues
Cooperative, always eager to assist
Very tolerant and open-minded
Sensitive and intuitive
Willing to express their opinion
Find it easy to relate to other colleagues
Seek win-win situations
May be prone to taking on their colleagues’ problems
ENFJ Managers

Very charismatic
Pay a lot of attention to their subordinates’ needs
Great communicators
Able to easily inspire other people
Good at recognizing other people’s motives
May be manipulative in some situations
ENFJ Subordinates

May get overworked if they receive too many requests for assistance
Can cope with multiple tasks and responsibilities
May underestimate their own capabilities
Very reliable, loyal and hard-working
Quick learners
Vulnerable to conflicts and criticism at work

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{PORTRAIT OF AN ENFJ}
The Giver

As an ENFJ, you're primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

ENFJs are people-focused individuals. They live in the world of people possibilities. More so than any other type, they have excellent people skills. They understand and care about people, and have a special talent for bringing out the best in others. ENFJ's main interest in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people. They are focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others. They make things happen for people, and get their best personal satisfaction from this.

Because ENFJ's people skills are so extraordinary, they have the ability to make people do exactly what they want them to do. They get under people's skins and get the reactions that they are seeking. ENFJ's motives are usually unselfish, but ENFJs who have developed less than ideally have been known to use their power over people to manipulate them.

ENFJ's are so externally focused that it's especially important for them to spend time alone. This can be difficult for some ENFJs, because they have the tendency to be hard on themselves and turn to dark thoughts when alone. Consequently, ENFJs might avoid being alone, and fill their lives with activities involving other people. ENFJs tend to define their life's direction and priorities according to other people's needs, and may not be aware of their own needs. It's natural to their personality type that they will tend to place other people's needs above their own, but they need to stay aware of their own needs so that they don't sacrifice themselves in their drive to help others.

ENFJ's tend to be more reserved about exposing themselves than other extraverted types. Although they may have strongly-felt beliefs, they're likely to refrain from expressing them if doing so would interfere with bringing out the best in others. Because their strongest interest lies in being a catalyst of change in other people, they're likely to interact with others on their own level, in a chameleon-like manner, rather than as individuals.

Which is not to say that the ENFJ does not have opinions. ENFJs have definite values and opinions which they're able to express clearly and succinctly. These beliefs will be expressed as long as they're not too personal. ENFJ is in many ways expressive and open, but is more focused on being responsive and supportive of others. When faced with a conflict between a strongly-held value and serving another person's need, they are highly likely to value the other person's needs.

The ENFJ may feel quite lonely even when surrounded by people. This feeling of aloneness may be exacerbated by the tendency to not reveal their true selves.

People love ENFJs. They are fun to be with, and truly understand and love people. They are typically very straight-forward and honest. Usually ENFJs exude a lot of self-confidence, and have a great amount of ability to do many different things. They are generally bright, full of potential, energetic and fast-paced. They are usually good at anything which captures their interest.

ENFJs like for things to be well-organized, and will work hard at maintaining structure and resolving ambiguity. They have a tendency to be fussy, especially with their home environments.

In the work place, ENFJs do well in positions where they deal with people. They are naturals for the social committee. Their uncanny ability to understand people and say just what needs to be said to make them happy makes them naturals for counseling. They enjoy being the center of attention, and do very well in situations where they can inspire and lead others, such as teaching.

ENFJs do not like dealing with impersonal reasoning. They don't understand or appreciate its merit, and will be unhappy in situations where they're forced to deal with logic and facts without any connection to a human element. Living in the world of people possibilities, they enjoy their plans more than their achievements. They get excited about possibilities for the future, but may become easily bored and restless with the present.

ENFJs have a special gift with people, and are basically happy people when they can use that gift to help others. They get their best satisfaction from serving others. Their genuine interest in Humankind and their exceptional intuitive awareness of people makes them able to draw out even the most reserved individuals.

ENFJs have a strong need for close, intimate relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort in creating and maintaining these relationships. They're very loyal and trustworthy once involved in a relationship.

An ENFJ who has not developed their Feeling side may have difficulty making good decisions, and may rely heavily on other people in decision-making processes. If they have not developed their Intuition, they may not be able to see possibilities, and will judge things too quickly based on established value systems or social rules, without really understanding the current situation. An ENFJ who has not found their place in the world is likely to be extremely sensitive to criticism, and to have the tendency to worry excessively and feel guilty. They are also likely to be very manipulative and controling with others.

In general, ENFJs are charming, warm, gracious, creative and diverse individuals with richly developed insights into what makes other people tick. This special ability to see growth potential in others combined with a genuine drive to help people makes the ENFJ a truly valued individual. As giving and caring as the ENFJ is, they need to remember to value their own needs as well as the needs of others.